A True Friendship in Christ
Before you read the following, scroll down and see the first readings for today’s daily mass (Friday, Feb. 28th).
The first readings reminds me of the gift of true friendship—the kind that reflects Christ’s love, patience, and truth. Proverbs 27:17 tells us, “Iron sharpens iron, and one person sharpens another.” Real friendships refine us, strengthen us, and call us to be better.
But as I reflect on this, I’m also reminded that healthy friendships require balance—love with honesty, generosity with wisdom, and closeness with respect for one another’s limits. Even Jesus, in His perfect love, stepped away to pray, to rest, and to set an example of boundaries that protect the heart.
If we are to love as He loves, we must also trust that saying “no” at times doesn’t weaken a friendship—it can deepen it. A friend who respects your space, your peace, and your well-being is a friend who walks with you toward Christ. And in turn, we are called to be that kind of friend to others.
I am grateful today for the amazing people in my life who sharpen me, encourage me, and love with grace. May we all grow in wisdom as we learn to love well.
The Science of Friendships
Research indicates that people typically only need around three to five close friends to have a high level of satisfaction (Degges-White & Kepi, 2020). There are three to four levels of relationship depth when it comes to “friendships.” They are as follows: acquaintances, casual friends, close friends and intimate friends.
Acquaintances are those we recognize and know some basic fact about them. They are polite, friendly, and don’t make plans to see each other.
Casual friends enjoy one another’s company and usually make plans together. This relationship is based on a shared hobby. They go beyond shallow conversations of the acquaintance. You may find yourself grabbing a coffee with them.
Close friends have more meaningful affection and concern for one another. They respect each other’s peace and there is a level of trust there. Close friends are the ones you invite to celebrations; you are slow to judge them for any mistakes or actions even if you don’t approve of each other’s choices. There is a level of respect that people are created differently and can still love them as a close friend.
Intimate friends (or best friends) have all of the characteristics of close friends and there are little to no topics that are “off-limits.” There is a deeper sense of connection. This friendship feels safe and familiar.
We are designed to seek relationships. However, given this fallen world, friendships are a risk as well. It takes courage to be yourself with a friend in the hopes they won’t test you or judge you. Going through these stages are what we are designed to do as humans. Proverbs teaches that we should have wisdom for navigating friendships. Proverbs 13:20-25 teaches us what to look for in finding true friends.
In my personal experience, a true friend is a friend in Jesus. After mass today, I am especially grateful for friends today and our relationships.
Reading 1
A kind mouth multiplies friends and appeases enemies,
and gracious lips prompt friendly greetings.
Let your acquaintances be many,
but one in a thousand your confidant.
When you gain a friend, first test him,
and be not too ready to trust him.
For one sort is a friend when it suits him,
but he will not be with you in time of distress.
Another is a friend who becomes an enemy,
and tells of the quarrel to your shame.
Another is a friend, a boon companion,
who will not be with you when sorrow comes.
When things go well, he is your other self,
and lords it over your servants;
But if you are brought low, he turns against you
and avoids meeting you.
Keep away from your enemies;
be on your guard with your friends.
A faithful friend is a sturdy shelter;
he who finds one finds a treasure.
A faithful friend is beyond price,
no sum can balance his worth.
A faithful friend is a life-saving remedy,
such as he who fears God finds;
For he who fears God behaves accordingly,
and his friend will be like himself.
